Recently I finished reading Mitch Albom’s The First Phone Call from Heaven. The story happened in Coldwater, Michigan – a fictional town that appears to be exactly like what the name suggests – where residents suddenly started receiving phone calls from “heaven,” made by their loved ones. As you have probably guessed, the whole thing turned out to be a thoroughly planned hoax fueled by unnecessary media hype. But Albom added so much more colour to it with his dynamic, rich tone of voice when writing about life and death, human relationships, and technology.
This article is not a book review though. In fact, I am probably terrible at writing reviews as books are very long for my attention span. The First Phone Call from Heaven came in simply at the right time as I dwelled on these topics often this past year. This may resonate with many of you too, who have been just as troubled losing our dear friend last week.
What I learned from the book has nothing to do with whether God really exists or how easily human emotions can be manipulated. It rather made me remember the fact that we all lose someone we love at some point and long to hear from them again – with agony, regrets or simply because you miss them. And the best way to deal with that feeling is always to turn to the one next to us, and tell them how much we love them.
How I wish I had said Goodbye.
My first impression of Alex… I had never met an Asian person who speaks in perfect British accent! (So much for diversity I apologize.) I also thought to myself, his glasses are so nerdy gosh!
Good thing I never rely on my first impression about people, and luckily we became friends afterwards through many fun company events. He is not outwardly hyper like me (thankfully) but I don’t remember seeing him down ever. His presence just always brought laughter to the crowd, although that could also be because he was drunk or sort-of drunk most of the time outside of work. Fun anecdote during the Bloomberg Square Mile relay in 2016- we both got sold by a dear colleague and only knew last minute that we had to run – in the same team too! Alex being Alex, he decided to take a beer right before the race and of course I was scolding him hard thinking that we’d do terribly. But guess what? He was the fastest in the team of ten, completing his one mile at 6’27. To this day, I am still amazed by how fit (and ridiculous) he was.
You can imagine how the news hit us hard in early 2017, when he left for the U.K for treatment. I still don’t know much detail to date, but the fact that Singapore’s medical support wasn’t adequate did worry me. As usual, he sounded cheerful enough over Whatsapp. And my last direct contact with him was more than a year ago, when he was still well enough to share with me the work gossip he heard.
The story pretty much ends here. The final news came suddenly last week and for days I was deeply troubled by this strong sense of regret of not being able to say goodbye. I have parted and been parted with many people this far in life, and I always made sure to have good closure. But this is the irritating yet beautiful part about life – we do become better people because of our regrets, flaws, and mistakes.
I saw many photos of Alex on social media this past week to remember him and hope to do just the same with my humble words. This is neither a common nor easy experience for anyone, but we will get through it, and live, love better with all the beautiful things that he left each of us with.
How I wish I had know.
People’s lives get taken away in many ways. Some are “better” than others and by “better” I mean easier for both the living and the leaving. I can’t even start to imagine one of the worst types of scenario, where the choice lingered in a blink of an eye and left eternal suffering for both parties. My dear friend, how I wish that you and your mother never had to go through this. You must have thought a million times in your head too, how had I not known?
I want to appreciate the friend’s courage for sharing this with me, but more importantly, this story also left lasting impact on me because the very beginning of her experience was the reason why I started this blog. At the crux of the full storyline since 2014 is financial intricacy, fussed by politics in a society with terribly broken laws. Regrettably I can’t share too much more (genuinely hope I can one day), and thanks for understanding that it’s extremely difficult to resonate unless you have had this kind of experience first-hand. The lesson I learned here is that things like “misfortune of the era” do exist, and the unwanted ability to now see it clearly actually puts me at ease when thinking about leaving one day. We can lose everything any day, except for all the moments of love we were given and gained.
I wish your father can rest in peace despite all the pain and torment he had to suffer in this world. Neither of us is religious, but karma connects the dots and just keep believing that it will only get better from here.
How I wish you were never gone.
We all lost someone we love at some point; family, friends, coworkers, even acquaintances. As terrible as I am at comforting others, here are verses from the famous Mariah Carey song-
I wish that you was here to celebrate together
I wish that we can spend the holidays together
…
I thought you were so strong
You make it through whatever
It’s so hard to accept the fact you gone forever
…
And I’m sure you reached a better place
And I’d still give
The world is in your face
Me right here, next to you
* * *
Not sure if we will ever receive a phone call from heaven, but, as Albom puts it, we know that our loved ones will always steer us to what we need.
Global Citizen 